Leadership - MinistryTogether

When a leader fails; judgement, grace and restoration

The first elders meeting after the pastor was caught was tense. Some of the elders didn’t see why this was such a big deal, others were focused on a speedy path to restoration, while one elder believed the pastor’s actions were disqualifying and grounds for immediate dismissal. Over the course of the next few weeks the elders coalesced around three main questions:

Who are we to pass judgement?
Shouldn’t we extend the same grace the pastor preached about?
How soon can we restore the pastor?

By the end of the month the lone dissenting elder resigned and left the church, leaving the other six to move forward on a path that led to the pastor’s return to preaching within weeks, and reinstatement in a lead role soon after. It became obvious that it was time to for me to leave because my answers to the three questions above clearly did not align with those of the elders.

Every time a church leader’s immorality becomes public I see a form of these questions on blog sites and on social media. Who are we to judge? Don’t we believe in grace? Isn’t restoration the goal? I have spent a lot of time thinking, praying, and reading about these questions, and have landed at the same place I was when I left that church; the answers are in the questions.

Who are we to judge?

Jesus admonition, “Do not judge others…” in Matthew 7 is the go-to verse for the point of view that we are in no position to judge others. Paul clearly said that “All have sinned,” so how can we in good conscience judge others? Who are we to judge?

The full context of Jesus’ words are helpful.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

Matthew 7:1-5 NLT

Jesus did not prohibit judging, he is simply explaining how the Kingdom works. Since I will be judged, I will be subject to the same standard that I set for others. The answer isn’t no standard, no judgement, the answer is consistency.

Neither did Jesus say we should never take a speck out of a friend’s eye. He said we need to deal with our junk before dealing with other people’s sin. He didn’t say leave others blinded, he said do the necessary work in our own lives first.

In his first letter to the Corinthian church Paul clearly says that we are to judge other Christians.

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NLT

Since none of us is without sin, there is no place for self-righteousness in the church. There is, however, an important time and place for sober minded judgement when a leader is in sin.

What about grace?

If the core of Christianity is grace, if we are all sinners saved by grace, how can we not extend the same grace Jesus offers us to pastors and leaders who fail? Look at King David, he sexually assaulted his neighbor and then had her husband killed to cover his sin. If David can be called “a man after God’s own heart,” then who are we to condemn another man for his sin?

It is interesting to look at the context of this quote. When Paul refers to David as a man after God’s own heart he is citing 1 Samuel 13:14 when Samuel says to Saul,

“But now your kingdom must end, for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. The Lord has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.”

1 Samuel 13:14 NLT

This takes place before David is anointed King, before he met Uriah and his wife Bathsheba, before Nathan became a prophet, and before David committed some of the most egregious sins recorded in the Bible. Samuel wasn’t endorsing David’s actions, he was speaking prophetically about a man he’d yet to meet. David’s actions, later condemned by Nathan, led to catastrophic results for David, his family, and for the kingdom of Israel. David wasn’t immune to grace, but neither did grace give David immunity for his actions.

Grace is a messy, difficult thing. In God’s grace he allowed Jesus to die a horrible death, under the banner of grace Ananias and Saphira died for their deception. Grace isn’t some kind of cosmic get out of jail free card.

Grace in the absence of justice is simply license, a free pass to sin and the destruction that comes with it.

Isn’t restoration the goal?

Within days or weeks of the revelation of a leader’s sin the conversation turns to restoration. What will the process look like? How long will it take? Who should lead the organization while we wait for the leader to return? The challenge is we often confuse restoration with reinstatement. Reinstatement is about getting the leader back into the same role. Restoration is about

- Restoring a right relationship with God
- Restoring a shrunken heart
- Restoring a marriage, and family
- Restoring broken relationships
- Restoring health to people crushed by the leader’s sin
- Restoring integrity, trust, holiness

There is no set timeline or program for restoration. Restoration requires repentance, time, accountability, introspection, amends, reconstruction of a life and soul.

Restoration built on a timeline for reinstatement will fail. True restoration will take a lifetime.

I am not saying that every leader with moral sin is permanently disqualified from reinstatement to ministry; the circumstances of immorality vary wildly. Reinstatement just can’t be the primary goal of restoration. Some leaders can come back to ministry, some can even come back to the role where they failed. Some cannot. Reinstatement should be a completely separate conversation from restoration. Every leader is eligible for restoration, not every leader is eligible for reinstatement.

The last word

I hope this topic will simply cease to be a thing. Pastors will stop sleeping with people they’re not married to, leaders will stop using their power for sex, and church staff will simply use texting for important messages and stupid memes. While we wait for that day let’s agree to a sober understanding of judgment, grace, and restoration when others fail.

Leading Through Pain

By Sherry Surratt

At 5:30 A.M. I stumbled to the bathroom, jamming my pinky toe on the corner of the cabinet. The pain shot up my leg, jarring my foggy brain into full-awake mode. As I sank to the floor, a sick feeling crept over my insides. One second ago I was thinking about the day ahead, but now I only had one thought: How can I make this pain stop?

When something hurts, we want the pain to end right away. If you’ve ever suffered a break or sprain, you know it demands your full attention; the misery focuses your brain with laser acuity on the offended appendage. With my injured toe, I certainly hadn’t been thinking about it a second ago. But now, I couldn’t think of anything else.

Author Sam Chand in Leadership Pain says there can be great benefits to the pain we experience in leadership. It forms and refines us. It focuses our attention on areas that were previously ignored. It speaks loudly through the moments of misery, and if we lean into it, it can become our greatest teacher.

When I bump up against opposition, angst, failure, or anything painful in my leadership, I look for the quickest fix. Sometimes I start with a mental brush off: Just keep going, and it will go away. Sometimes I’ll call on its lazy stepsister, avoidance: It’s not that bad! Stop worrying and think about something else. Sometimes I play the blame game: That wasn’t my fault—she dropped the ball. And other times I will sink into shame: I’ve read everything I can. When am I going to learn to be a good leader?

But pain is always trying to tell us something. My stubbed toe was shouting at me to take a minute and assess the damage. Luckily, it was no worse than a torn toenail and a bit of swelling. Usually the difficulties we encounter in leadership deserve a larger pause. Is my attitude out of alignment? Are there areas of growth I have been avoiding and need to address? Do I need to develop courage and face something head on instead of simply wishing it would improve?

Here’s what Chand says: Growth equals change, change equals loss, loss equals pain, and therefore being a leader means I’m going to experience pain. I can deny it or try to hide from it, but if I’m going to commit to leading well, there will be pain. The question isn’t how can I avoid or stop it. The question is: How will I let it be my best teacher? Here are some things I’m learning to do.

Know that pain is part of the journey

I used to think good leaders led so well that their journey was easy. Not so. Good leaders tackle hard things and face uncertainty and fear on a regular basis. They have moments of regret and worry like I do. Just because I’m experiencing pain, it doesn’t mean I’m a lousy leader—it means I have an open door to become a better one.

Embrace it and make it my friend

When I pretend something’s not painful, nobody wins. God, the creator of emotions, allows me to experience painful emotions for a reason. He has big things to say to me when I’m lonely, exhausted, or discouraged. But I need to acknowledge the painful moments and lean in. I’m learning to reframe my questions during the pain. Instead of God, why aren’t you changing these circumstances? I’m learning to say, God, what is it you want to say to me? Sometimes his answer is simply, Daughter, you are enough. I love you. The gap between where I am today as a leader and where God wants me to be can be bridged by the way I embrace the pain he enables me to endure.

Be thankful for what comes next

I don’t have to pretend to like painful experiences in the moment, but I can look back from the other side with gratitude. I’m a better leader after I honestly face criticism and realize it didn’t kill me. I’m a more empathetic, compassionate leader after a failure once I experience the stamina it takes to get up and try again. It’s a powerful thing to admit that I wouldn’t have learned those critical lessons any other way. I can be thankful for what pain helps me become.

So when the pain inevitably comes and you begin to question why you’re leading, remember that pain is a natural part of this process. Pain will make you a better leader. And when you’ve made your way through the pain to the other side, I hope you take time to reach back and help those of us who are still wading through it.

How is your leadership foundation?

Lately I’m always the oldest guy in the room when I am meeting with leaders. I’m the one who has two pairs of reading glasses in his pocket, just in case. I’m the one smiling and nodding at cultural references I don’t understand. I’m the one who never passes up the opportunity for a bathroom break. One thing I’ve noticed between fumbling for my glasses and Googling “almond mom” is what might be the lack of a solid foundation of leadership development among some newer leaders. They migh know the right phrases, but they don’t always understand the concepts behind the phrases. (Team work does make the dream work, but what I really need to know is why no one locked the building last night.) I know what I’m talking about because I was exactly like them when I was a 28 year old youth pastor.

I’ll never forget my first Prevailing Church Conference at Willow Creek Community Church. It was the first time I’d heard things like the 3 C’s of team selection and the importance of leadership as a spiritual gift. My mind was spinning as I walked through the airport on my way to my plane home. In the window of a bookstore I saw a just released book called, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I had never read a secular leadership book, so this seemed as good a place as any to start. I swallowed hard when I saw the $9.95 price tag, that was a lot of money on a youth pastor’s salary, but I decided to splurge. Who knew, maybe I could even learn something from a Mormon.

And, like Alice following the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole, I began my journey of leadership development. Below are a few of the books that have been pivotal on my path of discovery. Most of these books are now old, maybe even outdated, but they form the foundation of my leadership. Many of the ways I lead go back to principles I first learned in these books, and I find that many of the newer books I read and podcasts I listen to are built on these same principles. If you are close to my age you likely have many of these books in your library, and if you are younger you probably should at least check them out. The writers may be of a different generation, but the foundation they build is timeless. So let me introduce you to the faculty in my personal school of leadership.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Covey’s habits are so ingrained in leadership culture many people don’t know he first coined the terms “paradigm shift”, “begin with the end in mind’, and “think win/win.” Long before James Clear wrote Atomic Habits Covey wrote, “private victories precede public victories…making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others.”

The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard

One of the best principles from The One Minute Manager is catching people doing something right and praising them for it. There is so much more power in praising people for what they are doing well than in correcting them when they mess up.

Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell

This is the Bible of leadership development. If you are a leader and haven’t read this book you are probably doing it wrong. (Don’t panic, almost every leadership book you’ve read is somewhat based on the principles in this 1993 classic.) This is where we learned that “leadership is influence”, “the price tag of leadership is self-discipline”, and “people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Good to Great by Jim Collins

This is the first of Collins’ trilogy of influential studies on the difference between companies that succeed and companies that fail. (Built to Last and How the Mighty Fall complete the set. Good to Great in the Social Sectors is a good sequel as well.) Two enduring principles are the Hedgehog Concept (What are we the best in the word at?” and the Flywheel Effect (Consistent effort over time produces huge results.)

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

I have a love/hate relationship with Lencioni. I am not a fan of the fable format, even though The One Minute Manager also made this list. On the other hand I’ve read every one of Lencioni’s books because the leadership principles are so spot on. Five Dysfunctions of a Team was my gateway drug to Death by Meeting, The Advantage, and The Working Genius. 22 years after publication these are still the five dysfunctions that cripple all bad teams.

The E Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber

Leaders working IN the business rather than working ON the business is still the number one thing I find that keeps organizations from growing. Leaders like to tinker, fiddle, fix, and do deep dives into the weeds rather than lead.

The Leadership Pipeline by Ram Charan, Stephen Drotter and James Noel

The term leadership pipeline has become so commonplace that most leaders don’t realize it was first coined in 2001 by these authors. I remember being at a Leadership Network event with my brother Greg and Mac Lake when we heard one of the authors outline the idea of a pipeline connected to competencies. It was a game changer for how to think about leadership development.

Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath

It was hard to pick this book over Switch, but Made to Stick came first. I think about Commanders Intent and the Curse of Knowledge almost every week in my own leadership, but I also analyze change through the paradigm of the elephant, the rider, and the path. You should read both just to be safe.

Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton

Discover Your Strengths fits in a stream of personal leadership development books that began for me with Please Understand Me, and includes titles like The Road Back to You, and Working Genius. I find that tools like Strength Finders, DISC, Meyers-Briggs, and Ennegram help me understand myself and others, and helps us work together more effectively.

These are just nine of the books that make up my leadership foundation. I’ve left out The Essential Drucker, The Leadership Challenge, The First 90 Days, and dozens of other books. I’ve also omitted most of the books I’ve read in the past few years, not because they aren’t good, but because they are building on the foundation of the first 30 years of reading on leadership.

What books did I leave out that have been foundational in your leadership development?

The Lazy Person’s Guide to Leadership

Leadership is exhausting. On top of all the stuff you have to get done there’s all the stuff the people you’re leading have to get done, and all the stuff the people being led by the people you’re leading that has to get done. I need a nap just writing that sentence, but we haven’t even gotten to the part where you have to develop all the people developing all the people, and you have to hold all the people accountable for holding all the people accountable for developing all the people. Oh, and next Sunday is Easter.

Its almost too much for one person to handle. Which may be the point.

What if our challenge with leadership isn’t that we’re not working hard enough? What if the challenge is that we’re working too hard? As I have gotten older I’ve realized that the most effective leaders actually do less, not more. Perhaps laziness is the unspoken hero of leadership qualities. If that is the case, here are some tips on how to be a lazy, effective leader.

Don’t be Google

As leaders we love to answer questions. It makes us feel smart and important, and when we answer the questions we know the answers are right. (Because the answers are ours.) There are a few challenges when I become Google for the people I lead. First, if I answer the first question then I’ll need to answer the second, third and fourth questions. Soon there will be a line at my door of people with questions only I can answer. Have you ever tried to take an afternoon nap with a crowd at your door demanding answers? Its almost impossible.

The second challenge with trying to be Google is that I don’t always have the best, or even the right, answers. I’ve found that when I let people figure things out for themselves they often come up with better answers. It is a killer to my ego, because I always want to be right, but my ego often needs a little deflating.

The third challenge with filling in for Google is I am keeping people from growing. Growth comes from trying, failing, getting back up and trying again. I can give insight from my own experience, but for the most part it is healthy for people to learn for themselves rather than just parroting what they hear from me. It also leaves me a lot more time for my siesta.

Don’t be Jiffy Lube

Every time I take my car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change they find 15 other things I urgently need to fix. “Mr. Surratt, your catalytic converter isn’t converting, your tie rods are untied, and your oil pump has pumped its last.” They don’t understand my philosophy of car repair; if you ignore a problem long enough it will eventually go away. Unfortunately this philosophy hasn’t worked out so well as a car owner.

On the other hand, its actually a decent leadership philosophy. Similar to our urge to be Google, as leaders we often want to jump in and fix things. We jump on every urgent email thread with the solution to the problem. What I’ve discovered, however, is that if I’ll hang back and not provide the instant solution, many problem will indeed fix themselves. Sometimes the solution isn’t exactly what I would have suggested, but its usually good enough. And it didn’t interrupt my afternoon game of golf. (I haven’t golfed in years, but you get the point.)

Don’t be Netflix

Netflix constantly has suggestions for what I want to watch next. “Because you watched Ted Lasso you might like Bend It Like Beckham, or Drive to Survive, or Ted.” You know me so well, Netflix. Leaders are tempted to do the same thing, but instead of making suggestions based on the other persons background, all of our suggestions are based on our own experience. “When I was a youth pastor back in the 90’s, before you were born, lock-ins were really big. You should do a lock-in.” Never mind that lock-ins and the Backstreet Boys have had been equally popular with teenagers over the past 20 years. We mistakenly think our nostalgic suggestions are even remotely helpful to this generation of leaders.

A much better approach than Netflix is the Braintrust process developed by Ed Catmull, co-founder of Pixar. His book, Creativity Inc., is worth the read, but here’s an excerpt describing the Braintrust process.

Don’t be Waffle House

Breakfast at the Waffle House may be the most American experience possible. Truck drivers and bar tenders sharing a meal with a sweet little family of four on their first foray into the world of smothered and covered hash browns. And breakfast is served 24/7/365, the Awful Waffle is always there for you. Even on Christmas Day. Especially on Christmas Day.

Great lazy leaders don’t share Waffle House’s hours. There are hours of the day, days of the week, and weeks of the year when you aren’t open for business. You don’t answer email, respond to texts, or “jump on a quick call.” Waffle House leaders burn out leaders, including themselves. 99% of leadership challenges either resolve themselves or can wait until you get back. You aren’t a short-order cook in a greasy kitchen.

A healthy, effective, sometimes lazy leader is a gift to the church, non-profit, or company they work for. They empower the leaders around them, and present a model of life-giving leadership to everyone in the organization. So take that nap, play that round of golf, and practice the art of lazy leadership.

Should Women Preach or Lead in the Church? Maybe…

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]While being interviewed by key leaders for a teaching pastor position, an elder asked me whether I was a complementarian or egalitarian. I confidently stated that I was a complementarian, and than began down the long list of women pastors on my spiritual journey. The group looked more and more uncomfortable the further I went until the lead pastor finally interrupted, “Are you sure you are complementarian?” I immediately realized my mistake, “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant egalitarian.”

You could fill the air lead the room, it would have been better if I’d said I was a satanist. Elders suddenly remembered they had urgent appointments elsewhere, and staff had an urgent need to get back to their offices. Soon the group dwindled to me, the lead pastor and one clueless staff member who was still hoping for a free lunch. The pastor, who’d invited me to the interview, looked like I’d kicked him a few inches below his gut. He gave me a quick tour of the building and then invited me back to his office. Once inside I tried to ease the tension with a joke, “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?” He apologized profusely and admitted he should have vetted my theology of women (Is that a thing? Feminology?) before dragging me through the inquisition. We agreed to remain friends, knowing we’d never work together at a church.

And that’s how I learned the difference between complementarian and egalitarian.

My views have continued to morph, however, in the years since. After a lifetime of study, experience, thinking and prayer I have finally decided I am both complementarian and egalitarian, I’m a complegalitarian

Complegalitairan: In some contexts and cultures women are gifted, qualified, and called to lead, preach, and exercise authority in the church. In other contexts and cultures those roles are better served by men.

I have landed in this camp (so far I may be the only one here) because it is the only way I can make sense of scripture, history, and my experience in the real world. I understand the implications of 1 Timothy 2, but I have to balance that with other passages where women were not only not silent, but preached, led and held positions of authority over men. From Miriam to Deborah to Huldah to Priscilla to Phoebe to the daughters of Philip (Acts 21:9), some women in some contexts prophesy (preach), teach, hold office and lead. I can’t accept an argument that says women are forbidden to hold certain offices, have authority over men, or preach when there are clear examples in the Bible of women doing all of the above, seemingly with God’s full blessing.

I also recognize that in some cultures and some contexts the fact that a woman is leading could overshadow the presentation of the Gospel. We have to remember that at the end of the day the Gospel trumps all other concerns. That is why Jesus did not stand up to they horrible abuses of the Roman government and Paul did not advocate for the end of slavery. They were both focused on the main thing, the hope of the Gospel.

Paul said he became all things to all people so that by all means he might save some. His primary concern was “Christ in you, the hope of glory”. I suspect in ancient Greek, Roman and Jewish culture the most effective messenger for the Gospel was often a man because of the patriarchal bent of society. I do not think that is always the case in every context and culture. Neither, it seems, did Paul.

I have been watching from the sidelines as Southern Baptists tear each other apart over this issue. There was a huge uproar when Beth Moore preached at a church on a Sunday morning, and subsequently left the Southern Baptist denomination over the fallout. The roar got even louder when Pastor Rick Warren announced Saddleback Church ordained three women as pastors. Seminary president and Southern Baptist Convention President candidate Albert Mohler has led the charge against women preaching or leading in SBC churches (except in narrowly defined roles), recently saying,

“If you look at the denominations where women do the preaching, they are also the denominations where people do the leaving.”

The irony of this statement is overwhelming when you realize that over the past 15 years SBC has lost 2.3 million members, 14% of its total membership, while adhering to a strict complementarian standard. At the same time what is being called “Spirit-empowered Christianity” (aka Pentecostal and Charismatic), which is almost entirely egalitarian in practice, has exploded in growth all over the world.

The current SBC President, J.D. Greear, along with all of the other candidates to succeed him, agree with Albert Mohler that women preaching and leading above certain levels in the church is a line in the sand they will not cross. While the SBC has to determine the future of the SBC, it seems from the outside that this issue is overshadowing the mission to bring the hope of Jesus to a lost and dying world. The message I fear is being unintentionally amplified is that men simply want to maintain authority over women.

That is why I am now a complegalitarian. I believe God created men and women with different gifts and abilities. I think some women are gifted by their creator to lead in some circumstances, and some men are gifted by their creator to lead in other circumstances. I think in some contexts the practice of women leading men can so overshadow the message of the Gospel that it can be destructive to mission of the church, and I believe in other contexts the practice of barring women from certain levels of leadership and preaching can also be destructive the mission of the church. I think this is why Paul gives Timothy instructions that limit women’s roles in the church and in Romans commends women for filling those very roles. I think Paul may have been the first complegalitarian.

‘So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.’ 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 (NIV)

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Back to the Past: The Quick End of Innovation in the Church

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]About a year ago many of us were saying, “Church has changed forever, it will never be the same.” We adopted the word phyigital (which sounds like a restless physician’s ponytail to me) and we declared that we were now online churches with physical locations. About two weeks later everyone quit watching our online streams. (Not everyone, but it felt like it.) Researchers started telling us that not only had our people quit paying attention, they were never coming back to our churches. We were doomed, I say, doomed.

And then Texas and Florida decided Covid wasn’t a thing and churches resumed in-person meetings. We were tentative at first; requiring masks and banning singing (which wasn’t much of a change for most attenders), offering few if any kids’ programs, and carefully measuring 6’ between seats, rows and urinals. And then one crazy church in every community declared the government couldn’t tell them what to do, burned their masks and staged an all-church group hug. We were back!

Little by little the “back to the past” movement took hold. As Covid began to recede and vaccinations rolled out like ‘Bama at the Sugar Bowl (I have no idea) churches felt loosed to go out and revert to exactly what they did before. And revert they did. Great music! Relevant sermons! Fun kids’ ministry! once again ruled the land.

The pressure to revert is enormous. The people know what they want and they want what they had before. They like the music, the sermons, and whatever kids’ ministry leaders do to keep their children entertained for an hour. They tried the new, the creative and the unprecedented for a year, and now they are ready for the comfortable, the predictable and the recognizable.

And the good news is we are the best in the world at what we used to do. We have honed our model to a fine art, we have taught it at conferences and we’ve written about it ad nauseam. Our staff, our buildings and our budgets are all built on the pre-pandemic model of church. Phygital was like that girl you met at summer camp; she was fun for a week, but now that you’re home its time to pick back up with your childhood sweetheart. (Sometimes these analogies don’t even make sense to me.) No one is more nostalgic for yesterday than those of us who spent a lifetime creating the past.

There are a whole lot of people who are perfectly satisfied with church the way it used to be. Many of them will come back, or they’ll at least check in occasionally to see if you’re still doing it the way they like. They’ll keep volunteering occasionally, giving a little once in awhile, and warming our stack chairs when they are in town and there’s nothing better to do. This isn’t everyone, but its a much bigger percentage than most of us would like to admit. The quickest path to the numbers and accolades we are used to is back the way we came.

There are two challenges on the path back. The first is, if we continue to do the things we did before, we will continue to see the same results. Our numbers may grow, but the level of engagement and true discipleship will not. If shut down taught as anything its that our congregations are not nearly as mature as disciples as we had thought our hoped. Attenders will be happier, satisfied and comfortable, but they are unlikely to grow.

The other challenge is most of the people in our communities who did not attend before Covid are even more unlikely to attend after. They have read stories of church gatherings as super-spreader events, pastors demanding their rights and refusing to follow guidelines, and Christians storming the Capitol. They don’t care about the nuances of the truth, or the bias of the reporters. What they have seen over the last year has only confirmed their belief that our churches are inconsequential at best and destructive at worst. What we did before was somewhat ineffective among the truly unchurched, now I fear that it may be seen as completely irrelevant.

The problem with finding a new path forward is you have to find a new path forward. (Insightful) There isn’t a template to follow or a model to emulate. The biggest question I get is, “Who is doing this well, and how can I learn from them?” It is a great question, but the answer is no one. We are all figuring this out together. A great book to read on the season we find ourselves in is Canoeing the Mountains by Tod Bolsinger. His premise is we find ourselves in a similar situation to Lewis and Clark when their expedition encountered the Rocky Mountains. They were experienced at navigating rivers, but now they had to learn to climb mountains. I think we’re at a similar crossroads; we can go back down the river, or we can learn how to climb a mountain.

I met this week in Atlanta with a handful of leaders who are intent on becoming mountain climbers, focused on blazing a new path forward. They are asking hard questions about what a church really is, where it meets, and how it connects to a larger church body. They are learning from the progress and mistakes of pioneers who’ve been asking these questions for many years. These weren’t just wild-eyed entrepreneurs, they were leaders from some of the best known churches in the country. Although they are in the minority, I believe these leaders, and others like them, are willing to take the withering criticism, make the costly mistakes, and carve out the uncertain trail that is required for the church to prevail in this completely new season.

Carving a path through the mountains is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love the church as it has been, but I can’t spend any more time helping it be a better version of what it was. My goal is to find the way forward through meaningful conversations among like minded leaders, focused on discovering church for the new reality. Here are the conversations I want to focus on:

Innovation rather than imitation
Diversity in race, gender, age and background
Leaving a legacy through the the next generation
Church in the context of the broader community

I’ll share details soon on how can join these conversations, but for now I have one question, do you want to paddle back up the river, or do you want to climb the mountains?[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][social_buttons full_width_icons=”true” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” linkedin=”true”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

What if everything we knew about church changed? What then?

Mondays feel weird too. The past couple of weeks we’ve scrambled to get our services online, create virtual small groups and find ways to love our community while keeping our distance. Now we have a lot of that figured out. Sure we’ll tweak and fine tune, but most of the things that we’ve worked so hard to adapt are coming into shape. Now its Monday again and what do we work on now?

We still have to write sermons and find way to record content without infecting each other. We have to check on attenders and reach out to community leaders. We have to make sure online groups are happening and figure out the things that aren’t working. But what is our mission? What are we really focused on now that we cannot gather as a church for many weeks to come?

Here’s my recommendation for a things to work on this week. I think if we focus on these three things we’ll make incredible progress in our new normal.

Celebrate

Let’s take time to celebrate. We are doing things as a church we wouldn’t have thought possible three weeks ago. We are preaching to a camera and getting pretty good at it. We are connecting with people we’ve known for years, and people we’ve never met, in ways we didn’t know was possible. We are figuring out communion and baptism and giving and prayer without being in the same room, and its working. We are seeing creativity and passion from people who previously sat on the sidelines. We are bringing hope and light to our community at a time when they desperately need it. We are being the church in ways we couldn’t have imagined way back in February. That calls for a socially-distanced virtual party.

Mourn

We’ve lost some things that are really hard to let go of. We will not gather on Easter. We will not have Good Friday communion together. We will not go to that conference we’ve been looking forward to for months. Each of us have lost or will lose many things, and we need to take the time to mourn. There are many aspects of our current situation that suck, and pretending that they don’t doesn’t help. Take some time to grieve what you’ve lost.

Innovate

I love seeing stories of companies pivoting right now to manufacture things they’ve never built before. Car makers are making ventilators, and shoe companies are making masks. This morning I read about a scientific group in Ohio who’ve figured out a way to turn shipping containers into sanitation units for health care workers’ personal protection equipment (PPE). It gives me hope because I see incredible innovation happening around the world.

The same innovation has to happen in the church world. We can no longer to do what we’ve always done. I see little glimpses of innovation in the way churches are doing services, but that is barely the tip of the iceberg of the innovation that has to come. Obviously we have to create opportunities for people to connect, worship and learn together, but that barely scratches the surface of what we have to figure out.

The challenge is innovation is uncomfortable. For many of us in ministry we’ve spent decades learning to do what we do. Years in college and seminary, and more years working for churches figuring out how to create the best environments possible for ministry to happen, and now those environments don’t exist. We’ve been to conferences, connected in cohorts and leaned into coaches (I have to use my alliteration skills somewhere) to learn the very best way to do church. And now most of what we learned is secondary at best. Let’s be honest, it feels really strange sitting on our couches watching a pre-recorded Sunday service. We try to make conversation in the chat, but its hollow at best.

We have to invent new ways to do what we are called to do. Our calling hasn’t changed, but our methods of ministry have to. We can’t continue to focus on how to do what we’ve always done, but do it online. We can’t just focus on making our 45 minutes on Sunday the best they can be. We have to understand the needs of today and how we can help. We have to innovate.

Here are some innovations I think we need:

Teaching Pastors

How can we teach people to dig into the Bible for themselves? Rather than giving them an already baked bread like we normally offer on Sunday, how can we point them to the flour, eggs, yeast and milk and challenge them to bake their own loaf? How can we create enough hunger in people that when they finish watching us teach they feel compelled to pull out their Bible (or App) and figure it out for themselves? I think the opportunity for innovation is not just how we preach, but what outcome we hope for.

Worship Leaders

No band, no haze, no moving lights and no graphics. Just you staring at a camera trying to lead people in worship. What do you hope people are doing as they watch online? Singing, praying, sitting silently? Is it unrealistic to think the average guy watching is going to suddenly burst into off key singing while sitting in his PJs with his family? If its not participation, what is the goal of Sunday worship? How can you innovate in how you lead? I think this is more crucial than recording the next viral worship song created by your team singing into cell phones. I don’t know where we need more innovation right now than in the area of worship.

NextGen Pastors

Kids are currently spending more time with their parents than their peers, teachers or church leaders. Now is the time to get serious about helping parents know how to have honest conversations with their kids about faith. No matter how good your online experiences are right now, they pale in comparison to the daily conversations kids and students are having in their homes. Are you connecting with parents to understand how you can help? Are you coming up with creative resources that parents are actually using?

The biggest mistake we can make as church leaders right now is to think the adaptations we’ve made to make what we’ve always done available online are an adequate response to our new reality. There is a good chance church will never be the same, how are we innovating to lead our congregation into this new season? What if we sat down together and rewrote our job descriptions for this season? Let’s cross out the things that don’t really apply right now and add in the things that are essential. Let’s create time in our schedule to celebrate, mourn and innovate. Let’s become the church God wants us to become through this crisis.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][social_buttons full_width_icons=”true” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” linkedin=”true”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

In praise of older leaders in plaid shirts

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]I recently heard a conference speaker lament the fact that the lead team at a majority of the churches she works with are older men in plaid shirts. She is not wrong. When I look at church websites I am always amazed at how little diversity there is at the top. Its almost always white men in their 40s and 50s wearing plaid shirts. In other words, they look just like me. I am hopeful over the next few years we will see that trend turn as women, people of color and younger leaders are added to the mix. Its one of the biggest challenges the church faces today.

As a member of the old men/plaid shirt tribe (I’m wearing one as I write), however, I’d like to give a different perspective. Not opposing, just different. I agree that change has to come to the church, if for no other reason than the fact all of us old white guys will be in Heaven soon. (And there are many other, better reasons for change.) I just want to give the view from our seat. In these conversations it often feels like we are dinosaurs, irrelevant, in the way. Our gray hair, or lack of hair, seems to be a sign pointing to the exit. It feels like our best contribution going forward is to quit, retire or die. We are the problem and our absence is the solution. I am in no way saying this is the intent or the tone of those arguing for diversity at the table; I am simply sharing how it feels sitting on the other side.

We don’t want to be in the way, we don’t want to be dead weight taking up limited space at the table. On the other hand we don’t feel like our contribution is over. We have decades of experience, we have faced challenges younger leaders have yet to walk through, hopefully we’ve picked up some wisdom along the way. While we can’t speak for women, Millennials, African Americans or Latinos and we do not know what it is like to be an immigrant, an outsider, a minority, we do know the narrative of the church. We shed blood, sweat and tears building the church. We led through disasters like 9/11, the Iraq war and the Great Recession. We are like Farmers Insurance, “We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two.” We don’t want to block the entrance, but we feel like we can still contribute as we’re headed for the exit.

In addition to pointing out the inequity of the current leadership structure in churches, I think we need creative paths forward. How can we promote and develop the leaders who are not currently at the table without patronizing and discarding the leaders who are already there? I believe the answer is more about addition than subtraction; additional leaders, additional teams, additional roles. Let’s have deep and difficult conversations about what individual leaders do bring to the table, and then reshape roles around strengths rather than aspirations or age. Let’s avoid easy answers and reach rather for solutions that honor the experience and leadership gifts God has given each of us.

As for the plaid shirts, just think of them as old guy tattoos. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][social_buttons full_width_icons=”true” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” linkedin=”true”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Beth Moore: Please don’t go home

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]One night almost ninety years ago two ladies stepped onto an improvised stage in a wheat field in western Oklahoma and began to preach the Gospel. They had never heard of John MacArthur or Beth Moore; they simply knew that their lives had been changed by the Good News, and they wanted to share what they had found. At the end of the sermon that night they invited anyone who wanted to follow Jesus to raise a hand. Laying in the backseat of a car parked near the tent, too weak to sit in the revival service, my grandmother lifted her hand in the dark, taking her first step toward Jesus. Soon my grandfather followed her lead, and then their children and their grandchildren joined her on the journey back to God. When my granddaughter stepped across the line of faith recently she became part of the fifth generation of my family to become Christ followers since those two lady preachers refused to “go home”.

My faith journey is shaped by women who didn’t “go home”. My grandmother, an ordained pastor, taught the adult Sunday school class in every church my grandfather pastored. My mom became my Sunday school teacher when all the other teachers gave up trying to teach me and my friends. My wife is an ordained pastor and tremendous teacher. My mother-in-law taught for decades in her home church. I’ve learned leadership from Nancy Beach and Nancy Ortberg. I’ve been inspired by Christine Caine and Jo Saxton. I am honored to call younger leaders like Kadi Cole and Jenny Catron my friends.

One of the most impressive teachers I’ve had the honor to meet is Beth Moore. When Sherry was leading MOPS International Beth spoke at one of the conferences. Unlike other speakers, her only demand was that she be able to spend a few minutes praying with Sherry before. Her graciousness and humility were amazing, and her speaking that evening was powerful and convicting. She is one of the best Bible teachers I’ve ever heard.

With my background it isn’t surprising that John MacArthur’s recent attack on Beth Moore and all women who preach was repugnant. His arrogance and lack of grace stand in stark contrast to the women who’ve spoken into my life. It is not, however, MacArthur’s tone but rather his message that causes the most damage. From Jesus’ day to today woman are told from an early age they are less than. Only men can preach, only men can lead, only men can be mentored by men. If a man rises to the top he’s a leader, if a woman follows the same path she is grabbing for power. Men lead, women follow. And if they don’t like it they should shut their mouths and go home.

This is not what we see in Jesus. He elevated women, he respected women, he taught women one-on-one. Jesus encouraged the women who followed and supported his ministry at a time when Rabbis would not even look at women. Jesus refused to treat women as less than.

Paul also placed great value on women as leaders. He sought out women when he entered a new town. He tore down the distinctions between Jews and Gentiles, slave and owner, male and female. He listed multiple women as influential and significant leaders in the early church. And in a passage in his first letter to Timothy he said that men should lift their hands when they pray (without getting into fights), and woman shouldn’t braid their hair, wear gold or pearls, or buy expensive clothes. And he said he didn’t permit women to preach.

Somehow we’ve decided that its ok to ignore Paul’s other instructions in this passage, its ok for men to pray without lifting their hands (or covering their heads), its ok to get angry and quarrel, and its ok for woman to wear nice clothes and jewelry. The one thing we’ve taken as a theological cornerstone is Paul’s single admonition, repeated nowhere else in scripture, that women not preach. Standing on this single verse men like John MacArthur find it ok to ridicule woman like Beth Moore, and to say to all the girls and woman with the gift of teaching, “Go home”.

I am thankful that those two woman who preached the Gospel to my grandmother did not go home. I am thankful for the many, many women who’ve impacted my life since then did not go home. And I am praying, in spite of men like John MacArthur, the young women who are coming behind will not go home. We need the voices of all the church, male and female, to lead sinners like me home.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][social_buttons full_width_icons=”true” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” linkedin=”true”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Stop counting attendance and start counting care

The challenge is that healthy things aren’t the only things that grow. Weeds grow faster than healthy plants, and cancer cells kill the body by growing faster than other, healthier cells. By focusing on numerical growth in the church we may inadvertently feed the very thing that could choke out true health.

Another challenge with tracking attendance is it doesn’t always measure what we think it does. I remember talking to another pastor in our community a few years ago. He was excited about the sudden growth he’d seen over the past few months. I wanted to be excited for him, but the church I served had recently gone through a moral failure by a key leader, and our attendance was shrinking at the exact time his was growing. Attendance growth isn’t always as it appears.

Finally, measuring weekend attendance is becoming irrelevant. In a culture of online church, sermon podcasts and declining frequency of attendance even among committed members, the number of people sitting in pews or stack chairs from week to week no longer reflects the true size of a congregation. We need to move beyond butts in seats as a primary measure of the health of a congregation.

So what should we measure? The go to answers are baptisms, giving and small group participation. There is nothing wrong with measuring these areas, but it is still incomplete. To truly understand how healthy we are as a church we have to know how we are caring for the three circles of people we are called to shepherd; our neighbors, our followers and our disciples.

Neighbors

Key word: Compassion
Key questions: Who are our neighbors and how are we easing their pain?

A neighbor is anyone who comes into contact with your church. Neighbors live next door to the church and next door to people who attend your church. Neighbors are the school and city officials who interact with your congregation. Your neighbors are the people who serve your members in restaurants, stores and entertainment venues. Your neighbors may never walk into your church, but they are still your responsibility.

In the story of the Good Samaritan Jesus not only broadens the definition of a neighbor, he shows how to treat our neighbors with compassion. Unlike the religious leaders in the story, the Samaritan has compassion for his neighbor. He bandages his wounds and provides for his needs. He isn’t concerned about where the injured man attends synagogue; he is a neighbor so he cares for him. A major component of the mission of our church is to discover where our neighbors are hurting and how we can help.

A healthy church cares for their neighbors both corporately and personally. When there is a crisis in the community a healthy church is the first to step in to help, and when there is a need in a neighborhood healthy church members are the ones who stand in the gap. Measuring health begins with tracking how compassionately we care for our neighbors. How are we easing their pain?

Followers

Key word: Provision
Key questions: Who are our followers and how are providing for their needs?

A follower is anyone who considers your church their church. This is tricky, because there are a lot of people who claim your church whom you’ve never met. They may attend only on Christmas and Easter, they may drop in a few times a year, or they may just watch online, but a follower would consider your church the place to:

Get married
Have a family member’s funeral
Be baptized
Dedicate their baby

Regardless how deep their connection, if they consider your church their church they are a follower and you have responsibility for them.

We see Jesus’ provision for followers in the story of feeding of the 5000 when he says to Phillip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” (John 6:5) I imagine the disciples thought, “Why are they our problem? They are adults, let them figure it out for themselves. Besides, it would take a miracle to take care for all these people.” Jesus believed, however, that He and the disciples should care even for casual followers.

The bigger your church grows the more followers you attract. Conservatively your church has twice as many followers as average weekend attenders. A church of 300 on Sunday has 600 followers, a church of 3000 has 6,000 followers, and a church of 30,000 on a weekend carries the weight of 60,000 people. That is larger than the town I live in. We love to attract huge crowds, but if we are faithful to Jesus’ example we have to also provide for the needs of the ever growing circle of followers.

Disciples

Key word: Direction
Who are our disciples and how are we helping them grow?

A disciple in this context is anyone committed to the vision, values and mission of your church. It includes the staff, leaders and elders, as well as the committed attenders who support and love your church. You are responsible to do everything possible to ensure the disciples are growing in their faith and reflecting the model of Christ.

The growth of His disciples was Jesus’ primary mission while he was on earth. He taught them, challenged then and rebuked them, all with the goal of seeing them grow in their understanding of him and their commitment to the Kingdom. When he knew his time grew short and the cross loomed ahead, he withdrew with his disciples for one last time. He washed their feet, he fed them, and he taught them the core value of love. As he faced the cross his attention was on the 12 men who would soon abandon him. His commitment to the disciples wasn’t based on how much they gave, led or served; it was based solely on his love and care for them.

This is the commitment we are called to as leaders in the church. We are never told we will give an account for the number of people we can convince to sit in an auditorium on a Sunday and listen to us talk and sing. We will, however, be held accountable for the disciples who follow us as we follow Christ. How are we loving them and helping them grow?

The Shift

Before Online Church, traveling youth sports teams, and the ability to work from anywhere, weekend attendance was a decent indicator of the effectiveness of a church. Today weekend attendance is nothing more than a popularity contest. The “winner” is the church with the best band, coolest website and best speaker. Churches grow to thousands overnight and we all want to know the secret to their phenomenal growth.

The bigger question is how are caring for the flock God has entrusted to us? How can we measure the impact we are having on the hurts in the lives of our neighbors? How can we discover the true needs of the followers of our church and how can we know we are meeting those needs? How can we make sure that the disciples around us are growing more like Christ?

When we are faithful with the people God gives us, our neighbors, followers and disciples, He can trust us with more. Our job is to plant and water, it is God’s job to make it grow. What if over the next 20 years we become as intentional on measuring and improving how we are care for people as we’ve been on filling buildings for the past 20 years? Can you imagine the harvest?[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][social_buttons full_width_icons=”true” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” linkedin=”true”][/vc_column][/vc_row]