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Bill Hybels and the challenge of finishing well

The first time I heard Bill Hybels speak was at Willow’s 1994 Prevailing Church Conference. I sat on the right side of the old auditorium, by the windows that overlooked the pond. Bill’s topic that morning was People Matter to God. It was the first time I heard words like seeker, excellence and relevance in reference to a church. I remained in my chair long after everyone else hurried off to workshops, tears streaming down my face. I had been in church all of my life, I had been a youth pastor for 12 years, but it felt like the first time I really understood what church was all about. I connected so deeply with what I’d just heard in that auditorium in the suburbs of Chicago I knew my life and ministry would never be the same. I was right.

In the 24 years since I have lost count of the number of Willow Creek Conferences and Global Leadership Summits I’ve attended. I remember hearing a little known speaker named John Ortberg teach at his first Willow Creek Conference. I was at the GLS in Chicago the year Bill Clinton unexpectedly showed up to discuss the Monica Lewinsky affair. Much of what I think about ministry and church were shaped either by a message Bill gave, a book Bill wrote, or a conference Bill led. No one has had more influence on my ministry than Bill Hybels.

As I watched Bill give his final address to Willow a couple of nights ago I again fought back tears. He is leaving under a cloud of accusations and suspicion, his legacy tarnished beyond repair. The man who taught me, and many of my peers, about leadership, character and integrity has lost his platform and his voice.

I know that we follow God not men, that I can never let my guard down, that I have to run to the finish line. I know to create boundaries and accountability and rules to make sure I never disqualify myself from ministry and embarrass my friends and family. I know these things because I learned them from Bill; now he’s out of the game.

I don’t know if Bill did any of the things of which he is accused. What I know is that a man I’ve admired for many a years, a man who has had an outsize impact for good around the world, a man who has avoided the hint of scandal until now, is disgraced and silenced. It does no good for me to focus on what Bill did or not do; the only thing I can do is focus on what I can learn.

Since the news of the accusations first broke I have done a deep and difficult inventory of 35+ years of ministry looking for places I’ve missed the mark. Have I put someone of the opposite sex in an uncomfortable situation? Have I done or said things that were suggestive or out of bounds? Are there boundaries that I’ve knowingly or unknowingly crossed? 

I’ve also had some challenging conversations with Sherry asking her to help me think back and point out blindspots in my conduct, words and posture that might be misconstrued. The thing about blindspots is that you can’t see them no matter how hard you try. I don’t remember missing the mark in this area, but if I have I want to know.

Going forward I will not marginalize women because of my own paranoia, neither will I trust that I always understand the potential impact of words or actions. There may come a day when there are accusations against me that I am unable to prove false, but I want to finish my ministry knowing that before God and my wife I have done everything in my power to walk in integrity without causing others to stumble. I want more than ever to finish well.

How to work for a church AND love God

Every time I interview someone for a job at a church I always tell them that working for a church can be challenging to their faith. There is a price to be paid for working where you attend church, and it is eye opening to discover that your new co-workers have a lot in common with your old co-workers. Based on over 35 years of working for churches here are my top four tips on how to work for a church AND love God.

 

Three Keys to Having An Abundance of Volunteers

The number one question Sherry and and I hear from  church leaders all over the world is, “How can we find enough volunteers?” The primary reason most church struggle attracting enough volunteers is they recruit to need. A good appeal to need will impact 20% of the people, a great appeal will impact 25%. The key to having an abundance of volunteers isn’t better appeals, the key is creating a healthy volunteer culture.

Let’s look at the three elements present in any healthy volunteer culture.

Vision

Sherry tells a story she heard several years ago that continues to impact her view of working with volunteers. A mom told of attending a mandatory meeting for parents of players on a youth baseball team. When the coach began talking about this year’s fund raising drive you could feel the air go out of the room. The coach, however, surprised the parents. He didn’t talk about the amount of money they needed to raise, nor did he show them samples of wrapping paper or candy catalogues and explain the fundraiser. He talked instead about baseball changing the trajectory of his life as a young man, and what an impact he believed this team would have on their son’s lives. By the time he finished painting a picture of the potential future the mom said she, along with most of the families in the room, we’re eager to participate in the fundraiser. The coach began with vision rather than need.

Its interesting when Jesus looked for volunteers at the beginning of his ministry he issued a challenge rather than an appeal. One day while he was on a walk beside the Sea of Galilee Jesus came across Peter and Andrew casting a fishing net. After watching them work for a few minutes he walked over and said, “Come, follow me, and I’ll show you how to fish for people.” He didn’t mention the needs of the ministry, describe the tasks that had to be accomplished or assure them the volunteer position wouldn’t take up too much time. Jesus invited them into something that would change their lives.

What would happen if, rather than focusing on how many volunteers you need, you focused instead on the potential life change that will happen through the ministry you lead?

Ministry leaders who lead healthy volunteer cultures effectively connect the dots between the task at hand and a transformed future. 

Tribe

As part of a small group campaign at our church in South Carolina every group was challenged to take an outreach project in our community. After much discussion our group decided to adopt a nursing home in the poorest part of the city. We began visiting the nursing home regular doing things like yard maintenance, giving Christmas presents and repeatedly cleaning urine off an outside wall (Don’t ask). This was not my idea of a good time. I prefer spending my Saturday mornings, well, doing anything but visiting a nursing home in the ‘hood. I went, however, because my tribe was going. Relationship, much more than need, was the driving factor.

We consistently miss the power of tribe in church.

We focus on the ministry that needs to be accomplished rather than the relationships on the team. Volunteers who feel like a part of a tribe that is changing the world rather than an unpaid employee accomplishing a task will do almost anything the team needs done. Rather than recruiting to need we need to recruit to relationship, and then follow through on that promise.

Purpose

If people never find a place of selfless service they will never find their true purpose in life. Every reputable mental health expert understands this fundamental law of the universe; the only path to wholeness is through serving. As long as we focus on ourselves and our needs we will never truly be happy; materialism, greed and selfishness rot the soul. We were created with a deep seated need to serve each other.

As ministry leaders we  have to remind people often that Jesus’ example of service is the path to peace and wholeness we are all looking for. We demonstrate it in our own lives and share stories of others who find purpose through serving.

What about your church?

A ministry that connects the dots to a preferred future, connects team members in deep relationships and helps people find their true purpose through serving will discover an abundance of volunteers. As you evaluate the ministry you lead how are you doing at casting vision? Are you creating an environment for healthy team relationships? Are you demonstrating a life of purpose through service?

Five words your church should ban

I recently read an article in the Harvard Business Review titled Ban These 5 Words From Your Corporate Values Statement which reminded of a mistake I often see in a church’s list of core values; many of the items aren’t core values. It’s not that the items are evil or bad, the problem is their list of core values tells you almost nothing about who they are as a church. Take a look at your church’s list of core values and answer this question; Could your core values describe almost any evangelical church in America? If yes, then you don’t have core values, you have general principles. Core values drive your church toward your very unique mission in the word while general principles describe the basic beliefs and practices of almost all churches.

To help you in this exercise let’s look at five words churches should ban from their list of core values. WARNING: When you finish this list you may have to start over articulating your core values.

Five words your church should ban

  1. Authentic
    Quoting the HBR article: “You can’t claim to be authentic or that you want to be — you must simply be authentic. And your organization will be authentic if its leaders actually act and communicate in authentic ways.” When I see a church with Authentic as one of their core values my first thought is, “Hmm, I wonder what they are trying to hide?” Authenticity isn’t something to strive for, it’s something to be.
  2. Transparent
    Transparent is the cousin of Authentic. It shows up in lists of core values more often than James Harden at the free throw line (obscure NBA reference). The challenge isn’t that transparency isn’t a positive attribute, the challenge is that it doesn’t change who you’re striving to be as a church. No church has opacity as a core value. Like authenticity, transparency is something that will flow naturally out of who you identify, develop and deploy as leaders.
  3. Relevant
    Of course a church should hope to be relevant to their culture, but relevance isn’t the VALUE you are pursuing. Core values push to the front of the line when there is a conflict of interest, which means that a church based on eternal biblical truths will at times seem completely irrelevant to the current culture. What is the value BEHIND the desire to be as relevant as ethically possible in an ever-shifting culture? That is your core value.
  4. Fun
    A core value should be true of your church in every situation. That is why it is a “core” value; everything you do flows out of that value. I’m all about fun and humor. I love leaders that don’t take themselves too seriously and churches that know how to create fun experiences.
    There are, however, many times when fun is inappropriate. There is nothing fun about a child’s funeral, a failing marriage or a school shooting. In those moments no one is looking for a pastor who can tell a joke or a church that knows how to throw a party. It’s okay, even good, to be fun; it’s just not the core of who you want to be as a church.
  5. Gospel-centered
    Often this means, “Our theology is WAY better than the theology of the other churches in town. We are the heavyweights in the GFC (Gospel Fighting Championship).” Your particular theological bent may be a core value but focusing on the Gospel isn’t your unique or exclusive purview.

Your core values drive the mission of your church. Are you focused on people who’ve never heard the Gospel? Are you obsessed with justice for widows and orphans? Is your central purpose to see people become better disciples? Do you spend a huge amount of time and money investing in reaching unreached people groups in other countries? Are you passionate about building strong families? All of these are positive, but not every church is focused on the same areas. Every church has unique call and a unique bent; that’s what your core values should reflect. The authors of the HBR article say it like this:

“There isn’t one right set of values for every organization. Your core values should describe the collective attitudes and beliefs that you desire all employees to hold, translate those into specific actions and decisions that they should make, and then in turn show how those behaviors produce customer experiences that define and differentiate your brand. Your core values need to be unique.”

Take some time with other leaders in your church and ask these two questions:

  1. Are our core values unique to our church, or do they fit with any similar church in the country?
  2. Do our core values accurately reflect our unique call, passion and style of ministry?

While you’re looking at your core values you might want to pull out your mission statement and take a look at that as well. Here are some ideas to help write a more effective mission statement.

If you are redefining your vision, mission and values we’d love to help. We are certified in the Paterson Center’s StratOp process, which is an incredible system for discovering and executing your church’s God-given plan. You can contact us here for more information.

An Exciting New Season

2018 marks my 36th year of vocational ministry. Over that span I have served in almost every capacity with local churches including youth pastor, family pastor, multisite pastor and senior pastor. I’ve been honored to work with congregations of every size, from 30 people in a church plant to 30,000 people in a mega church. I am more convinced than ever of two things:

A healthy church is God’s greatest vehicle for good in the world

An unhealthy church can do unimaginable damage to the souls of its leaders

Over the past year I have seen both of these up close and personal. I have seen incredible life change as people find their way back to God through their local church, and I’ve watched pastors’ confidence crushed and their faith eroded in the vice of abuse meted about by well-meaning but misguided local church leaders. Some days I’ve wondered if I made a mistake spending my life serving an institution that has wandered so far from the Imago Dei.

On my better days, however, I remain convinced that Jesus Christ through the local church is the hope of the world. Rather than wringing my hands and giving up, or shaking my fist in anger, I’m inspired to roll up my sleeves in this next season and come alongside pastors and  local churches to rediscover life and health as they shine a light in the darkest corners of our communities.

My goal is to see pastors who are healthy spiritually, physically and relationally lead churches who are growing and multiplying as they see thousands of people turn from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light. I believe God has allowed me to be a part of the one of the most explosive growth movements in church history so I can share what I’ve learned through partnering with pastors. In this season those partnerships will look like this:

Coaching

In this next season I will be working with a limited number of pastors and churches as a coach in the areas of multiplication and growth. My goal is to work with leaders on a long term basis as an “adjunct staff member” rather than a traditional consultant so we can draft new strategies together, and partner not only on planning, but on execution. Currently I have space for two additional coaching relationships. You can contact me here if you’d like to discuss a possible coaching arrangement.

Retreats

With the release of our new book, Together: A Guide for Couples in Ministry, my wife Sherry and I are leading marriage retreats for pastors and spouses, as well as doing events for church staffs. Contact us here for more information about a retreat or staff event.

Speaking

Over the next few months we will be speaking at a variety of conferences including:

Exponential (February 26-March 1, Orlando)

CMN (March 5-7, Dallas)

Orange Conference (April 25-27, Atlanta)

Please contact us here if you are interested in having us speak at your event or conference.

Facilitated learning

One of the most exciting ways we’ve partnered with local churches is through facilitated learning experiences. Currently we meet every six months with 65 of the largest, most influential church in Europe in a project called Growing to the Next Level, and we are also leading a cohort of large Assembly of God Churches through a learning experience in the US. We would love to talk with you about a similar experience for your network or organization, you can contact us here for more information.

Together: A Guide for Couples in Ministry is about to launch!

Together launches January 9, but  you can preorder your copy here today.

Together  is our story of doing marriage and ministry together. We (Geoff and Sherry Surratt) have over 30 years of experience in a wide variety of ministry roles, but we aren’t the Facebook ministry couple with perfect hair, perfect skin and perfect children. We are pretty normal people trying to figure out how to love God, love our family and serve the local church. This book is about what we and other ministry couples are learning along the way. Together isn’t a how to guide to create a model marriage. It is more like coffee with friends who’ve been where you are going and have learned some lessons that may help you find your way. We have learned that marriage in ministry can be fun as long as you don’t take yourself (or your critics) too seriously. The only rule is that everyone has to be transparent, vulnerable and willing to laugh at themselves. Hopefully that will spill over with your spouse as you continue the conversation at home.

When what you see isn’t real

My alarm went off at 6:00 am on Saturday morning, as it does almost every day. But Saturday was different. As I rolled over to turn off the alarm everything began spinning violently. It took several seconds to figure which of the phones blurring in front of my eyes was the real one. I laid back and watched the room spin around me, thinking it would stop as soon as my eyes adjusted. When I got up to use the bathroom, however, the floor lurched violently to the left, then to the right. I stumbled wildly to the bathroom and then back to bed. I lay on my back, eyes closed tightly to block out the jumping, spinning world around me. Waves of nausea and panic swept over me as I realized something had gone horribly wrong in the night. Either the earth had been knocked off its axis, or I was having my first encounter with vertigo. Three days flat on my back, several medical tests and a cocktail of meds later I have concluded the earth is ok and I’m slowly recovering from vertigo. I imagine hell will be vertigo for eternity, with a side of flames.
Here’s the thing about vertigo, it’s not real. The world appears to be jumping and spinning out of control, but it’s not. It’s all in my head. Something in my inner ear is messed up, and it’s changing my perception of the world. The earth is fine, I’m the one with the problem. The disconcerting thing, however, is that all my previous experience tells me I’m ok, it’s the world that’s messed up. The knowledge that the ground is not actually moving, and my arm around my incredible wife’s steady shoulder are what gets me through the tough parts of the day.

There’s a saying that perception is reality, but vertigo has convinced me that it is not. Perception is just the tiny window I have on the world, and I wonder how many times my perception of that world is completely wrong? My perception of God, of relationships, of the “real” world. The Apostle Paul said,  

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT

To paraphrase, we all suffer from vertigo. The things we think we know are only our flawed perceptions of the world around us. That is why we have to stand on the solid ground of biblical truth, and rely on the steadying hand of unconditional love. We cannot trust what we perceive to be true, and we cannot find balance without friends we love and who love us in return. Because of the vertigo brought on by living in a world warped by sin, daily grounding in God’s word and regular time spent with a small group of Christ followers is our only hope of making sense out of this tilt-a-whirl life.

 
That sounds so religiously trite, doesn’t it? “All you need is the Bible and a good Christian friend”‘ sounds like something a TV evangelist would say right before selling you a timeshare in Jesusland. And it is trite until you realize how completely tainted your worldview really is. Last Friday I never gave walking down a set of stairs a second thought; today every step is a triumph. When we realize just how out of whack our worldview really is we’ll grab the Bible and hold onto friends like I grip the handrail and Sherry’s shoulder. We all have vertigo, the question is how we will deal with it.
As for me every day brings a little improvement. Today I can walk without falling down. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll leave the house. Or maybe the day after…

10 Commandments for Great Discussions

One of the things I love to do is facilitate discussions. This is WAY different than teaching or running a meeting, but many people miss it. Team meetings, board meetings and small group meetings are often less effective or helpful because the leader isn’t effective at facilitating the exchange of ideas. Over the past 30 years of ministry I have had the chance to facilitate hundreds of discussions in dozens of environments, and along the way I’ve picked up some principles for what works and what doesn’t; here are my top 10:

10 Commandments for Facilitating Discussions

  1. Don’t teach

    If the goal is the transfer of information, then the need is a teacher. If the goal is the free exchange of ideas, then the need is a facilitator. Most pastors make lousy facilitators because wherever two or three are gathered together they see a chance to teach. Don’t do it, it kills real discussion.

  2. Warm up the crowd

    Always start with some kind of ice breaker. It can be corny, serious or somewhere in between, but it can’t be too personal and it needs to be something anyone can answer. And there isn’t a right or wrong answer. (See #4 below) The first question is like warming up before you exercise, it makes things go better later.

  3. Stick to essay questions

    A quick poll of the group is fine, but good discussion questions should lead to, well, discussion. No simple one or two word answers.

  4. Avoid wrong answers

    Asking factual questions makes it feel more like a quiz than a discussion, and introverts will disappear for fear of getting the wrong answer.

  5. Focus on opinions, feelings and actions; in that order

    Not everyone (anyone?) knows the correct definition of apostle, but everyone has opinions and feelings; and anyone can take an action. Use questions like
    -What do you think about…?
    -How do you feel about…?
    -What will you do about…?

    A sub-rule is “All opinions and feelings are valid”. This makes the legalist in me shudder, but its true. My opinions and feelings are mine, so  you don’t get to decide if they are valid or not. As a facilitator you need to let the Holy Spirit do the work of convicting and judging. You don’t have to agree with an opinion or feeling to validated it.

  6. Admit when you don’t know

    Sometimes questions will come up you don’t know the answer to; admit it. Promise to find an answer if you can. Making crap up ruins a discussion. (You can tweet that.)

  7. Get comfortable with silence

    Silence in a discussion is seldom comfortable, but often necessary. Processors need silence to gather their thoughts before jumping in. Resist the urge to rescue the group and break the silence. Too much silence, however, can be a bad thing. If the lame duck question has been laying there for a couple of minutes put it out of its misery and move on.

  8. Include as many in the discussion as possible

    This is more art than science. Some people need permission to express their thoughts to the group, others would rather be forced to dance the Macarena naked than talk out loud. You have to watch for visual cues to separate the reluctant from the terrified. Call on the reluctant, make the terrified dance. Not really, just leave them alone.

  9. Help talkers move on

    Letting a talker dominate the discussion makes everyone (except the talker) miserable and kills any meaningful exchange. Learn to interject phrases like “Let me jump in…” and “Great stuff, thanks for sharing. Let’s move on to another question.” Don’t just sit there and take it, that’s why you’re the facilitator. Be careful though, if you embarrass the talker the rest of the group will turn on you. Gently, gently.

  10. Always encourage

    Every comment should be acknowledged with an encouragement. Encouragement isn’t agreement, it is being thankful for the contribution. Everyone who contributes should feel appreciation for their gift.

Facilitation is a blast when done right, and is a way to help people and teams become better. So don’t suck at it. 🙂

 

 

Lunch with a Heretic

heretic-nametagI recently attended a heresy luncheon. That wasn’t the official title, but I’m pretty sure the speaker would have been burned at the stake in another age. Doctrines such as original sin, substitutionary atonement and election were tossed aside along with inerrancy of scripture. This was the Super Bowl of revisionism. One of the wrappers for the belief system espoused was “alternative orthodoxy”, which is a little like “modified monogamy”; I’m fairly sure the alternative to orthodoxy is apostasy. By the end of the meeting my conservative nerves were frayed from not shouting “The Bible said it, I believe it, that settles it”. (Which is a phrase I hope to never utter out loud.)

Since the luncheon I have been debating the speaker in my head. I’ve read every Wikipedia article about him and his core philosophies (because I’m just that deep), and I’ve Googled everyone who has written an article calling him a heretic. The reality is he’s way smarter than I am, so I’m looking for intelligent people to affirm my shock and dismay. I fall asleep debating him, I wake up having triumphed in my pretend theology match. I didn’t argue with him face-to-face, but I’m 10-0 in my imagination.

At the same time I am digging deep into his theological arguments. I am reading and re-reading scripture depicting Christ as the sacrificial lamb. I’m examining the difference between what I know and what I think I know about original sin. I am revisiting the tension between

2 Cor 5:15 (NIV) And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Acts 13:48 (NIV) When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the Lord; and all who were appointed for eternal life believed.

I haven’t been this engaged in theology since my freshman year of Bible college when I found out the KJV Bible wasn’t handed directly from God to Paul. (Council of Carthage? What???) Nothing brings doctrine to life like someone who completely disagrees.

What I’m realizing is that when I shelter myself from people with a different understanding of God, and label them heretics, my thinking becomes very shallow. From a distance it is easy to put others in boxes without wresting with my own understanding of the universe and how it works. When, however, I sit across a lunch table and listen to understand, rather than refute, I can learn and grow.

The bottom line is I need more heretics in my life.

User, beggar or friend?

hand-outThere are three kinds of friends. First there is the friend who you can call at 2:00 a.m. because you are taking your son to the hospital and you need someone sane to talk you through the next few minutes. You know each other’s stories and you have each other’s back. This is the kind of friend you’d lay your life on the line for. You only find this kind of friend a few times in a lifetime. Never let that friend go.

The second kind friend likes the same football team as you, and is fun to chat with over lunch. They’ll give you a ride to the airport if you need it, and you enjoy reading about their family on Facebook. You share a similar sense of humor and you’re always glad to help each other out. You have had many friends like this through the years.

The third kind of friend isn’t a friend at all. Their motivation is always what they can get from you. They only call when they have a question or a need. When you get together over coffee the conversation is about their job, their family, their life. If they think you have influence, resources or connections that will help them do what they want to do they are around. When you no longer are useful they disappear. It is always painful when you discover someone is this type of friend.

My goal in life is to avoid being, or being around, the third type of friend. Life is too short to waste on such shallow people. When I was at Saddleback I had “friends” who thought I could get them access to Rick Warren. When I was at Exponential I had “friends” who thought I could get them a platform for their book. Now I discover “friends” who think I can get them money for their ministry. I received another invitation to connect with someone recently who wants me to “partner” with their ministry. They aren’t interested in my life, my ministry or my wisdom; they just want to know how much cash I can bring to the table. When they find out my budget is already committed for the year I’m pretty sure our newly formed friendship will end.

What if we stopped using people to get ahead? What if we stopped seeing relationships as a way to advance our agenda? Let’s grab coffee. Let’s swap war stories. Let’s get to know each other’s hurts and worries. Let’s laugh together, plan together and pray together. In other words let’s be friends. And you know what? If you are my friend there’s very little I won’t do to help you.